ikeepitreal

I thought Chris Rock was awesome at the Oscars last night. He was the first host in the last 15 years not named Crystal, Martin, Letterman, or Goldberg. It's a welcome change. I actually cared about watching this year because he was hosting. Well, that and having a terrible movie like "Million Dollar Baby" to root against.

Today's big water cooler fodder is the Sean Penn/Rock dustup over Jude Law.

A quick synopsis:

- In the monolague, Rock disses Jude Law and Colin Farrell as "just popular people". "If you want Tom Cruise, and you can only get Jude Law", Rock says ... "Wait."

- Rock does a bit where he introduces the Jewish PWC accountants that count the votes, and 2 *huge* black guys in sunglasses come up on stage.

- Penn uncomfortably sticks up for Law before he presents.

- Immediately after commercial, Rock says "Sean Penn, my accountants would like to see you".

I like Chris Rock a lot but the thing that stood out last night wasn't his jokes. It was his ability to disarm. Sean Penn could say absolutely nothing after that without coming off as a humorless bastard. Outstanding.

Posted by Mike at 10:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

FYI -- About the links in the entry below. I originally tried to link directly to the clip from Amazon, but they won't let me do that :) So I linked to the albums, and I looked some into the referral program.

I don't expect this site to get a lot of traffic, and I don't expect anyone to buy stuff that I link to, but after checking it out I created a page for my own personal use. I'll also continue sticking my refer ID in the links I put up, just because I'm a greedy so-and-so. If you end up buying something thru these links, lemme know about it and I'll kick you back some in the form of coffee/beer/or even a non-addictive substance!

Posted by Mike at 03:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Thoughts from the Olive Garden bathroom...

You know the song Volare that they *always* play at Italian resturants? Well, according to my limited knowledge of Italian-American culture (straight from the movies), this song must be accompanied with a big croud of people stumbling around and singing arm in arm. It's a dream of mine to be invited to an Italian wedding someday, assuming they really are like that (I don't wanna know if they aren't).

So, is there a WASP approximation of this phenomenon? Some sort of celebratory, generation-spanning sing-along? The closest I can think of is Sweet Caroline. I know it's a poor substitute, but it has most of the elements. Does your Mom know it? Check. Can you sing along without knowing the words? Check. Does it sound better when you are drunk? Check.

I'll still be waiting for a wedding invitation, but in the meantime, I've always got the piano bar down the street -- "sweet caroline... DUH DUH DAAAAAA!".

Next time in this space: A substitute for Italian wedding soup...

Posted by Mike at 02:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (29)

Becky's friend Yetta came over Thursday and took some pics. She is a great amatuer photographer and a hell of a high school math teacher (or so I'm told). This picture is my favorite.

We're about a week away now.

Posted by Mike at 02:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

When I order my caffinated beverage from Starbucks, I keep it real. How, you may ask? By pausing between each coffee specifier, like it's my first time there and I'm trying to figure it out. Here's an example:

I'll take a half-caf? (pause) large (pause) one pump hazelnut? (pause) no whip (pause) non-fat (pause) um, mocha. (pause) oh wait -- can you make it extra hot too?

I stand in line with the other suburban yuppie sellouts and practice my poor delivery. And yes, I know it's grande.

Posted by Mike at 09:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

There ought to be a name for the kind of guilt you feel after leaving work early because you feel sick and watching 3 straight episodes of the O.C. There isn't a name for that??? Let's call it chumdiggle. Let's just say I'm feeling a bit of chumdiggle right now.

Posted by Mike at 08:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

The Seattle sports scene is aflutter with trade rumors today, and it's fuuuuuun.

Sonics

I promised myself I wouldn't care about the Supes this year because I thought at the *very* best they'd sneak into the playoffs and be out after one round. With some big wins the last couple of weeks they have really established themselves as championship contenders, so of course -- I'm back on the bandwagon.

The news today is that the Radmonivic for Tyson Chandler rumors are back. I think this would kill their chances for this season. Vlade is among the league leaders in +/- per minute. As much as it would make the team stronger for the future, you have to roll the dice with the present once in a while.

Rick Sund: Keep Vlade!

Seahawks

The big news this week is that the Seahawks have pulled off a major coup by signing Walter Jones and Matt Hasselbeck right before the deadline to franchise a player.

Good news: they get to use the tag on Shawn Alexander.

Bad news: another year of Alexander doing commercials for his church.

I haven't read any rumors, but the Hawks *have* to get rid of Alexander and try to get value for him. I know it's been said before, but the west coast offense doesn't work without a back willing to block.

New Prez/GM Tim Ruskell should get the Cardinals and Dolphins on the line and pick up some linebackers, stat.

Mariners

Is Mike Cameron headed back to Seattle? Mrs. Ikeepitreal sure wouldn't complain. The M's and Mets don't seem to be a good fit, so maybe a 3 way trade is possible (SF?).

If I were Bavasi: Winn/Ibanez paired with Speizio for Cameron gets it done. Sounds like a pipe dream to me though.

Posted by Mike at 08:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

This Friday, on an all new NUMB3RS... a math concept you've actually heard of!

For the most part, this show is pretty good. It's got two "that guys" -- that guy from Northern Exposure and that girl from Sports Night. They seem set up nicely to do a whole Mulder/Scully thing for a while. The filming is better than the rest of the CBS dramas which all seem to look the same to me. And we are doing without the throwaway CSI one-liners that killed that show for me about 3 months in.

But I got to thinking last night as I was watching it -- I don't think the show is smart enough because I've heard of the math they use. Here's some of the stuff they've used so far:

* Reimann Hypothesis
* Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle
* Occam's Razor

Now, I'm not saying I understand all these things fully (I had to look up a lot of spellings a second ago), but I've heard of them.

I am actually impressed with the math on the show (it beats the heck out of the technology on "24"). But my familiarity with these concepts does remind me of Groucho Marx's famous saying "I wouldn't want to join any club that would have me as a member". If I'm not an expert in a field, does a show/movie have to exceed my knowledge to really impress? Or are they doing the right thing by appealing to a bigger swath of the audience and not making obvious mathematical mistakes?

Posted by Mike at 05:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

This is a place where I can eschew the suburban lifestyle that has engulfed me and get back to keeping it real.

I'm just hoping to post pictures, vent a little bit about things that interest me, and give my friends and family something entertaining to read.

Posted by Mike at 03:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)