ikeepitreal

My Grandpa Howard peacefully passed away this evening at the age of 88 in the Brewster, WA hospital. I'd like to abandon the cynicism I usually post with and say a few nice things about this great man.

Grandpa (HH) was the sweetest, kindest guy I've ever met. He attended an Assemblies of God church in Bridgeport, WA for as long as I (or my parents) can remember, and exemplified the loving, gentle side of Jesus. HH also had the hardest work ethic I've ever seen. He worked as a welder on the Alaskan Pipeline and several Columbia River Dam projects, and was always on the go, working hard until he started to slip away a few months ago.

Grandpa loved reading the Bible, boats, cars, canning fresh fruit, and buying contraptions off of infomercials. He is survived by 4 generous, fun-loving, stubborn children, 6 troublemaking grandchildren, and 5 energetic great grandchildren. He will join his wife Bethel in the Bridgeport Cemetary and Heaven.

I am grateful Sam got to meet his Great Grandpa. Thanks for all the lessons and the love HH. We'll miss you.

Posted by Mike at 08:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I saw the picture below in the BOI airport yesterday. It's sad really -- I used to really enjoy the quality journalism of Scuba Diving magazine. The excellent writing, the political outlook, the sophisticated analysis of all things undersea. But now, I've lost all respect for them.

If I were a scuba diver, I'm sure I'd be interested in Jessica Alba's new hobby -- not the picture on the cover (cough).

And now for my not-so-secret hidden agenda - Mentioning Jessica Alba = more page views.

Jessica Alba bikini Jessica Alba bikini Jessica Alba bikini Jessica Alba bikini Jessica Alba bikini Jessica Alba bikini Jessica Alba bikini Jessica Alba bikini Jessica Alba bikini Jessica Alba bikini Jessica Alba bikini Jessica Alba bikini

Posted by Mike at 08:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

There is a hilarious article on The Sun about the worst album covers ever. I think this one is especially funny because my friends used to call me Tino in college. Hmm, I have a Lacoste shirt, perhaps I will have to reenact this picture soon. :)

Posted by Mike at 11:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

This article reminds me of my poor decisionmaking as a yute.

Nope, I didn't have a substance abuse problem -- I was a big Dwight Gooden baseball card collector.

My best friend and I in Junior High each tried to collect every single baseball card of each of our favorite players. We succeeded for a while with our respective three favorite guys.

My favorite players: Dwight Gooden, Will Clark, Ruben Sierra

His favorites: Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire

Something tells me his collection is worth more than mine now :)

Posted by Mike at 09:41 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

For your enjoyment, I will now present a story demonstrating the "special" relationship I have with my high school friends.

Nels: "Wanna play CrotchBall?"

Mike: "Sure" (Mike heads to the garage to get tennis balls)

Mike and Nels head to the back patio in giggly non-communication...

Mike and Nels take turns bouncing the tennis ball off the ground towards each other's jewels until someone is hurt...

Game over!

And that, my fellow real-keepers, is the story of how CrotchBall was silently invented by two sadistic and telepathic friends.

Posted by Mike at 05:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I saw this picture on a bench in Seaside, OR. I think it speaks for itself.

Posted by Mike at 10:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

On Wednesday, I had what might be the greatest customer experience of my life. I took the boat out a couple of weeks ago and managed to lose the plug to our huge towable -- The Dragon. I figured it was one of those things where finding a replacement part would be harder than finding a needle in Rafael Palmeiro's Butt. *

Well, I found out the headquarters of H/O watersports is in Redmond, and gave them a call. Here is what transpired:

Linda (H/O): "H/O Watersports, this is Linda"

Mike: "Hi Linda, this is Mike. I have one of your towables and managed to lose the plug. I was wondering if you..."

Linda: "Sure, we'll send you a new one, can I get your address?"

Mike: "Wait, you don't need the model number or anything? Ok. (Address...)"

Linda: "Well, the mail's already gone out today, so if you need it tonight (!), you can just come pick one up."

Mike: "(Still shocked by how easy this is) Oh, no that's ok."

Linda: "Ok Mike -- Thanks for calling."

Mike: "Wait, how do I pay you for this?"

Linda: "Oh, It's just a replacement part -- It's free."

Mike: "(Stunned silence)"'

Unbelievable. A free universal replacement part mailed out that day. The proverbial crotchety old man we all used to work retail for that constantly preaches customer service is pleased. Very pleased.

Update: I got the plug in the mail. They sent 2(!) of them. I will now marry H/O Watersports.

* I know, this is a really bad joke.

Posted by Mike at 12:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

- TelevisionElbow

- A Solid Mixture of Tar and Gravel

- WarmRoughHousing

- Affable Guinea Pig

- Hearse Intended to be Given to an Attractive Female

- The Burnt Sienna Polka Dots

- Created to Leak

- The Ignited Kissers

Inspired by Mcswenney's Lists.

Posted by Mike at 03:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

For once this season, I have a glimmer of hope for the future of the Mariners. Felix Hernandez -- the #1 prospect in MLB -- started at home for the M's tonight. His line:

IP H R ER BB K HR Season ERA
8.0 5 0 0 0 6 0 0.69

The King is just 19 and (barring injury) should be a fixture here thru his arbitration years. If you live anywhere near Seattle, come out to see this guy pitch. Just filthy.

Posted by Mike at 09:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

A take on Sufjan Stevens' Come on and Feel the Illinoise

My friend Zach turned me on to Sufjan Stevens about a year ago. I believe his exact words were -- "Here is some trippy Jesus whisper-folk you might be interested in". Ever since, I've been burning copies of this guy's music for everyone I know.

We'll start with the prerequisites. It seems that every review of his shows or albums includes the following information, but it is important, so here goes:

- He started a bold project to record an album about each of the 50 US states in 2003, with Michigan.

- The next year, he took a detour, releasing Seven Swans, which is an emotive and sometimes depressingly creepy look at Christian theology.

- Back on track this spring, Illinoise was released. He claims to be releasing another state at the end of this year (rumors mention Oregon or Rhode Island).

His music is eclectic in general, and Illinoise is no exception. How can a Christian, emo, 24-instrument-playing guy who's biggest trick is strumming the banjo make such accessible and beautiful music? How is this same music the biggest thing with the hipster kids and indie shoegazers? How did this guy cause Seattle's alternative weekly The Stranger to write a open minded, pro-faith review? I dunno -- but maybe you should give it a try too.

At first glance, the baroque interludes and woodwind quintets that break the album up, and the stream-of-consciousness lengthy song titles may seem to be the work of a young songwriter trying too hard. But Sufjan may be the one person that can pull it off. Read his bio. In his writing, he treads the line between too-wordy-cleverness and affable-self-deprecation. His music straddles a similar line. Both strike a chord with me.

And in the spirit of (not) keeping it real, I'd like to explicitly point out that I got this album a month before it was released (with the now-recalled Superman cover seen above). I let Zach believe it's because I have some ins in the Christian community. Really, I just ordered it direct from the label. Just as long as ya'll know, I heard of him first.

Posted by Mike at 11:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)