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August 28, 2006
California Branding
(Breathes, launches into next rant)... You know what else I have a problem with? The state of California and their stupid chain businesses. It is bad enough that we have to deal with the export of soulless suburban moneymakers like Coldstone Creamery, PF Changs, and eXtreme Pizza, but what really gets my goat is all the businesses that brand themselves as Californian.
Lets see, off the top of my head there is California Pizza Kitchen, LA Fitness, LA Gear, California Closets, and the strange re-branding of Mervyns to Mervyns California. The confusing thing about it all is that they must think that it actually does them good to be associated with CA. Like, oh my God! Like, its so cool to be Californian. Guess what -- like, people of California -- ya'll are ok, but I'm not thinking all this braggadociousness is doing you any good.
Do the good people of California not get that the state is hated by all 49 other states (and the District of Columbia)? Do they not understand that calling yourselves "California Closets" makes customers like yours truly think of some gawd awful Burbank mini-mansion with a walk in closet full of Manolo Blahniks and terrible halter tops? If I buy my next 250 thread count sheet set at Mervyns California, will I sleep as well as all the passed out idiots on the MTV reality shows? If I eat at CPK will that make me creative enough to write a inane auto-biographical prime time pilot about writing/directing/starting in a TV show?
Let's extend this idea elsewhere. Vermont and Jerry's. Amazon of Washington. Old Chicago. See! Ridiculous. Let it go.
Posted by Mike at August 28, 2006 07:27 PM
Comments
California Adventure!? I mean, c'mon! Why don't they just call the park "Adventure"? Couldn't it be about an adventure in general, as opposed to a California adventure in particular?
And what the stink is up with LA Weight Loss? Is the hook that you lose weight LA-style? What would that look like anyway? Maybe they show you photos of all the beautiful, slim, and chiseled actors, actresses, and musicians in LA in order to shame you through body-comparison. Your motivation to lay off the deep-fried twinkies is not heart-health, it's shame and ego.
Posted by: Tom at August 28, 2006 09:56 PM
and let us not forget Wolfgang Puck! while he may not actually use the name of the great state in his line of prepared foods and restaurants it is impossible to separate his gag worthy and overtly flamboyant mosaic logo as anything but California!
Posted by: thereluctantninja at August 29, 2006 08:51 AM
Oh snap, looks like I've hit a nerve. Keep 'em coming California haters.
Posted by: Mike at August 29, 2006 09:49 AM
Yeah, and I'm sure California's the only one that knows how to party. Yeah right, my gangster friends.
Posted by: Tom at August 29, 2006 12:22 PM
Mike this is spoke like a man who once lived in California..... :)
mbg
Posted by: Mark Griffith at August 30, 2006 09:48 PM
Like we're not supposed to remember, Mike?
Posted by: Steve M at September 2, 2006 07:00 AM
Yep, ya'll know I lived in CA for 4 years, but there was a reason I left :P Besides, if you can't sell out your ex-es, who can you sell out?
Posted by: Mike at September 2, 2006 08:44 AM
Two words: Seattle Blues. Most god-awful looking jeans in history. Pretty much dashed any hopes for the whole nascent Seattle-chic thing right about 1985. Sorry man.
There's always your Best Coffee, though, eh?
Posted by: pcal at September 3, 2006 12:58 AM
oh give me a break! it's been awhile since i've visited this blog and i'm greeted by *this*! you hypocrite, mr. colorado. hi kettle, you're black. i mean, we have COLORADO springs, the DENVER broncos, the COLORADO rockies. university of COLORADO. i totally have you on this.
jennie, san jose, california
Posted by: jennie at September 10, 2006 11:39 PM
nervermind that i somehow jumped from aaron's site to yours. that was confusing.
Posted by: jennie at September 10, 2006 11:40 PM
Like today, like I saw this really cool truck for sale, and like dude on the side in big letters it said "California Off Road." I wondered if they knew how like stupid that looked to us.
Posted by: Roger at September 15, 2006 11:44 PM