Nice Compartment, Dude
So Michael Vick got busted at airport security today for a water bottle that had a hidden compartment with some marijuana 'residue' in it. I have a number of thoughts here, and no, I'm not going to go all "LEGALIZE IT" on you.
1) Why did this compartment (which was reportedly on the side of the bottle) have residue in it? Was this some kind of portable bong that is meant to look like a water bottle? With the secret compartment on the side? That doesn't seem right to me. Am I really that clueless about how bongs work?
2) If it was really just pot 'residue', what is the problem? I know it's not illegal to own a bong. He wasn't in possession of weed. I don't know why this irks me but it does. Dude just got his reputation hammered and has been a national sports talk radio joke all day for what seems to me like more of a privacy violation by the security agency than anything else. Throw away the suspicious bottle if you have to, but don't make an incident of it. What charges could you possibly bring against him?
3) That sports yak crowd is getting one thing right, however. YOU'RE MICHAEL FREAKING VICK. You make $25M a year. You're traveling to Miami for a good time. Great. Why do you have to try to sneak your Transformer bong thru security? You're telling me nobody can help you out on the other end? Like there aren't 100 shops on South Beach that could sell you drug paraphernalia legally? And why, for the love of God, would you have water in it? I don't know about you, but last time I flew they told me about 3 score and 8 times to get rid of all my liquids. If there is one clear incident that should clue the Falcons organization in that they probably shouldn't ask Vick to run the West Coast offense, it is this stupidity. In fact, they should start running all rookies thru this drill instead of making them take the Wonderlic test:
The Fosterlic Test
When carrying a suspicious item thru a security line at an airport, should you:
A) Dump all liquids out of it first
B) Wrap it in tin foil (this one's for Damon Stoudamire *and* Spinal Tap)
C) Walk thru with the item full of water, act like you've never heard of the liquid ban, then refuse to hand it over
D) Don't fly commercial
E) Don't carry a suspicious item
You can run my offense if you choose E. I'll also accept D and maybe A. But C?!? Really? Come on Mike.